Flat Tires

(Got any good flat tire stories? Devra told hers, which can't be beat, over on Sarah's goon squad blog, so now I'm telling one of mine here.)

On the weekend Jeromy turned 30, I threw him a party, bought him a 9mm hand gun and flew his brother Andy in to visit. In that same weekend - before we even made it to Saturday night for the party - Jeromy re-enlisted Beaker into the Air Force, and then we all moved Jen and Carey, plus their belongings, from Sedona to Tucson (where we were living at the time).

(Boy how we could fill a weekend before we had kids. Unbelievable. I think we even had dinner with Scott and Bridgette on Sunday night of that same weekend, not to mention that we cleaned up quite a mess from the party.)

(Okay, carrying on. I'm trying to tell a flat tire story here, you know ...)

To accomplish the move, we first drove to Phoenix where we stopped to borrow Uncle Jimmie's covered horse trailer. Inside Jimmie's back paddock, we hitched up the trailer, examined the tires, then traveled on to Sedona.

Do you want all the details? There are a lot of details. In Sedona we stayed at Mii amo Resort, where Jen had been working. I'd recommend it. The place is magical. She scored us a room and a massage for helping with the move. Of course, Jeromy doesn't care for massages, so I got the massage. Even though he and Andy did all the work. While I sat by the pool the next day. Did I mention it was Jeromy's birthday? And I'm getting pampered while he maneuvers horse trailers around the narrow roads of the resort and backing the whole contraption into the narrow, embanked parking lot of Jen and Carey's apartment building? But, hey. He got a hand gun from his wife for his birthday. He still talks about that today. Plus, he was completely surprised about his brother being in town. He was happy.

To recap: Jeromy was happy. I was relaxed. Andy was up for anything as usual. And Jen and Carey were excited to be moving to Tucson.

So everything gets loaded in to the horse trailer and we make it on to the highway, heading south in the 110-degree heat for the deserts and mountains of Tucson. Jen and Carey and their pets are traveling behind us in separate cars.

Within an hour, the horse trailer blows a tire. Fllptpt. We pull over and realize we have a spare but no lug wrench. And no pen. Jeromy's scrambling around for something to write with so he can notify passers-by that we need a lug wrench. Always resourceful, I whip out my lip stick, grab my address book and write, "NEED LUG WRENCH" on one lined page and hang it in the window. (You're looking at true Girl Scout material here, remember.)

Help arrives immediately. A family of immigrant workers pulls over to lend us their lug wrench. We thank them graciously, they refuse payment, and we head to the next rest stop to buy a new tire and a lug wrench. We replace the spare, store the lug wrench for future use and take off again.

Back on the highway, we make it through Phoenix before another tire blows. Fllptpt. This time Jen catches up with us and waits with Andy while Jeromy and I borrow her Jeep and drive it to the next exit to buy another tire. Carey heads on to Tucson in her car to make it there in time for an appointment.

On the way to the tire shop, Jeromy and I joke about the situation.

"Yep, the rubber's thin on those tires," we say.

"Yep, it's pretty hot out here today."

"I bet it's 200 degrees down there on the highway where the rubber hits the road," we surmise.

"And I bet we're carrying two tons of furniture back there. All that weight pressing those tires into the steaming blacktop. Man, those old tires must be melting right off the treads."

(You could cue some music here. I feel like we're at the point in the plot development where they'd play some music. A little country, a little comedy and a little bit of the blues while Jen and Andy and Jen's dog Buddy wait for us alongside the highway.)

Seriously, who else do you know who blows two tires in one road trip? And still makes it home in time for his 30th birthday party? Only the man who's coined the term, "Successful Breakdown." At this point, we had successfully broken down twice in a matter of hours. After a long wait at the tire store, Jeromy and I return with the new tire, he and Andy replace the old one, we all shuffle back to our own vehicles and merge again in to the highway traffic.

Would you think I was lying if I told you we made it within 20 miles of Tucson when the third tire blew? Fllptpt. It's not a lie. Again, we successfully maneuvered our way to an empty rest stop, waited for Jen and the dog to arrive in the Jeep and made plans for replacing the third tire.

It wasn't a hard decision. We decided to buy two tires and replace the fourth and only remaining tire on the trailer that hadn't already blown. This time Jeromy and Andy took off in the Jeep while Jen and I stayed behind with the dog and waited for the tires. We talked about karma. We tried to make phone calls. We laughed at the absurdity of the situation. We guessed that this wasn't the way Andy had expected to spend his weekend in Tucson.

But we made it to Tucson. We threw a party. We celebrated 30 years of successful breakdowns. We celebrated with visitors from out of town, with old friends from the military, with new friends we met that night for the very first time, and finally with childhood friends we'd reconnected with by moving them into town on a half-day road trip with three successful breakdowns. 

(the party)

Comments

[Erika]

=( I can't see the pic. Anyone else having trouble?

[Gidge]

What are the odds that there is another Scott and Bridgette couple?
Seriously.
Did my husband bring over another woman and say she was me?

[Alison]

Erika: Can you see it here? (This is a really old yahoo photo album.)

Gidge: Not unless this is your Scott too. The real question is: What are the odds of finding three of your close high school friends living in Tucson when you move to that city? (All from Ohio & none that were in contact with one other at the time.)

[Erika]

=( nope. It says, "Uh-oh. Something bad happened..."

[jen]

I wish all my flat tire experiences involved you guys.

[karen]

I'm so glad you still blog, Ali. You and your friends are so much fun.

[Devra Renner]

Did you blow the third tire before or after Eloy? That truck stop in Eloy is truly something to behold. My mother used to buy all her BoxCar Willy cassette tapes there. Truth. I can't make that shit up and you know it.

[Alison]

Devra: Is that the truck stop with the posterboard sign that read, "Certified Massages Upstairs."

Karen: Thank you! It's good to still be here.

Jen: Wanna go on a road trip?