AliBlog

Olympic training exercises for new parents

Rachel's practice exercises for new parents are dead on. Especially this quote, "What? I said I'd get the baby."

And this description: "Every day, when you get into your car to go somewhere (anywhere), toss approximately 2 cups worth of crumbs over your shoulder and into the backseat."

What's training exercises would you offer for new parents? Add them to the comments on Rachel's post: Practice, practice, practice!.

Moe's words of the day

Shhh. Baby sleeping.

I want you to read this post

"I want to order a drink from the well. I want to sit on naugahyde. I want someone to smoke. I don't want to smoke. I want people to make music right there in front of me. I want everybody to know the words."

Go read the rest at Sippican Cottage: I Want.

Moe's friends

Mobile post sent by aliblog using Utterz. Replies.  mp3

{This} much

I love you to the end of the road, and then stop at someone's house we don't know and eat an apple. Then come home and to the roof, and break through the roof and to the moon and sit on the moon for awhile, and back. That's how much I love you. -Robey

Moe's words of the day

• Elmo
• Zoe
• Cookie
• Oscar (Ah-key)
• Big Bird (Bih Bah)
• Grover (Over)

Under the bright flourescent lights

At Krogers in the checkout line the bag boy is helping unload her cart on to the conveyer belt. She left the kids at home, came for a few quick things, doesn't even really need the help. He mentions that the bananas are sticky right here. Wonders if that's okay. She doesn't mind. It was the largest green bunch she could find.

He stutters, steps back towards the bagging area, asks if she can believe it's almost Easter. She shakes her head, handles the bread gently, puts it on the belt.

He asks, "What does Easter mean to you?"

She pauses, scoots around the cart, reaches for the large items under the basket, says softly, "The ... resurrection," with only a slight question in her voice.

Immediately, loudly, in unison, the bag boy says, "Halleluia!" The cashier says, "Jesus Christ!"

She smiles meekly, feels the pride of an average student answering the hardest question on the test, hands the cashier her frequent shopper card and gets ready to pay.

Moe Brokey

Moe's recent streak of destruction (a partial list):

• Popped a dozen keys off laptop keyboard.
• Ripped countless pages from paperback and board books.
• Painted clothes, hands, legs and Robey's bedroom carpet with craft paint.
• Tore sheets off crib mattress and threw all crib contents on floor.
• Painted face with waterproof lipstick.
• Removed and un-sorted socks from sock drawer.
• Permanently pushed out TV on/off button.
• Lost batteries from two remotes.
• Emptied entire toy box all over floor.
• Tore border off Mardi Gras puzzle.
• Emptied and trashed contents of Robey's backpack.
• Ripped plastic covers off countless DVD cases.